Hunsagteen is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthinking dog.

Hunsagteen created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hunsagteen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hunsagteen, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hunsagteen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hunsagteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hunsagteen.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.