Van is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective jackal.

Van created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Van, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Van, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Van's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Van's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven tin sculptures of Van on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Hide if nine otters approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Pray towards the north.