Jongodbindabnartsis is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest newt.

Jongodbindabnartsis created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Jongodbindabnartsis, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jongodbindabnartsis, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jongodbindabnartsis' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Jongodbindabnartsis' Holy Commandments

1. Jongodbindabnartsis must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Put Jongodbindabnartsis first in all things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.