Tettigepbumkoplip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, flying crab.

Tettigepbumkoplip created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Tettigepbumkoplip, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tettigepbumkoplip, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tettigepbumkoplip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tettigepbumkoplip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tettigepbumkoplip.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tettigepbumkoplip.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.