Cimkonbig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast lion.

Cimkonbig created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkonbig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cimkonbig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cimkonbig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cimkonbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never run in the presence of sharks.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Always help sick voles.