Tofnibnart Timbatyatt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, conceited hedgehog.

Tofnibnart Timbatyatt created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofnibnart Timbatyatt, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tofnibnart Timbatyatt, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tofnibnart Timbatyatt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tofnibnart Timbatyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Never wear red coats.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help cats.

5. Capybaras are not to be trusted.