Ganfotyarp is a god.
He takes the form of a chunky, generous
wren.
Ganfotyarp created Asia twelve years ago.
If you believe in
Ganfotyarp, he will grant your every desire.
If you do not believe in
Ganfotyarp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.
Ganfotyarp's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.
Ganfotyarp's Holy Commandments1. Ganfotyarp must be the most important thing in your life.
2. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Ganfotyarp on top of important buildings.
3. Hide from violet pigs for they are unholy.
4. Never look at stars.
5. Never talk about fire.