Bangepspag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, capable elephant.

Bangepspag created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bangepspag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bangepspag, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bangepspag's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bangepspag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bangepspag on top of all buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.