Dingetsagwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, conceited newt.

Dingetsagwap created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dingetsagwap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dingetsagwap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Dingetsagwap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dingetsagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Dingetsagwap loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Dingetsagwap on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.