Jatonttaf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered mole.

Jatonttaf created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatonttaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jatonttaf, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jatonttaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jatonttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to grasshopers while wearing yellow kilts.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.