Vilarfrutmab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent wolf.

Vilarfrutmab created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilarfrutmab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vilarfrutmab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vilarfrutmab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Vilarfrutmab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Vilarfrutmab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Never talk about badgers.