Bottar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous dugong.

Bottar created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bottar, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bottar, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bottar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bottar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bottar's name in vain.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never eat bread.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.