Bepsitnill is a god.

It takes the form of a large, astonishing guinea pig.

Bepsitnill created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Bepsitnill, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepsitnill, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bepsitnill's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bepsitnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Retreat if four whales approach from the west.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.