Siswonnell is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciless crocodile.

Siswonnell created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Siswonnell, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Siswonnell, she will destroy your favourite star.

Siswonnell's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Siswonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about gravity.