Fatsabzag Flagkanpig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic squirrel.

Fatsabzag Flagkanpig created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatsabzag Flagkanpig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fatsabzag Flagkanpig, he will be very unhappy.

Fatsabzag Flagkanpig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Fatsabzag Flagkanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.