Quatyogflow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing armadillo.

Quatyogflow created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quatyogflow, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quatyogflow, it will turn you into a snail.

Quatyogflow's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Quatyogflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves in need.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think ill of sick otters.

5. Always take life seriously.