Canpigpon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, competent ant.

Canpigpon created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canpigpon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Canpigpon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Canpigpon's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Canpigpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always obey Canpigpon's priests.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Always help swans in need.