Vogpondoss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody penguin.

Vogpondoss created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogpondoss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vogpondoss, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Vogpondoss' most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vogpondoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vogpondoss' priests.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.