Cetgatfed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate otter.

Cetgatfed created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetgatfed, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cetgatfed, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cetgatfed's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cetgatfed's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cetgatfed.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never jump in the presence of manatees.