Arpfonbum is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast shrew.

Arpfonbum created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpfonbum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arpfonbum, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Arpfonbum's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Arpfonbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never mention sheep.

4. Always help mice.

5. Never write about black holes.