Quatduntig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless tapir.

Quatduntig created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatduntig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatduntig, she will destroy your home planet.

Quatduntig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Quatduntig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near sheep.

2. Never eat coconuts.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never wear brown dresses.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.