Yartbetkar is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy hare.

Yartbetkar created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartbetkar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartbetkar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Yartbetkar's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yartbetkar's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yartbetkar first in all things.

2. Never feed wheat to rats while wearing mauve boots.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never wear red shoes.