Tunnuttgat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic cow.

Tunnuttgat created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunnuttgat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tunnuttgat, he will send you a sign.

Tunnuttgat's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tunnuttgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.