Staffubvad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, calm deer.

Staffubvad created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Staffubvad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Staffubvad, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Staffubvad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Staffubvad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.