Pangquillsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful guinea pig.

Pangquillsaf created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangquillsaf, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pangquillsaf, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Pangquillsaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Pangquillsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. You must love Pangquillsaf.