Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive troll.

Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bagxuckfoss Dubfadbet Jopnuront's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven sharks approach from the north.

2. Never run in the presence of frogs.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never wear yellow shoes.

5. Never talk about fire.