Femteenont is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing squid.

Femteenont created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Femteenont, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Femteenont, it will send minions to preach to you.

Femteenont's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Femteenont's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your head white.