Fumdogtonk Wotjangum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil hippopotamus.

Fumdogtonk Wotjangum created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fumdogtonk Wotjangum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumdogtonk Wotjangum, she will come to you in dreams.

Fumdogtonk Wotjangum's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Fumdogtonk Wotjangum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Fumdogtonk Wotjangum first in all things.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never laugh near cats.

5. Never pour water over plants.