Janflismangid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ruthless guinea pig.

Janflismangid created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janflismangid, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Janflismangid, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Janflismangid's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Janflismangid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Janflismangid loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the north.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.