Sandfudflam is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonest giraffe.

Sandfudflam created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandfudflam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandfudflam, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sandfudflam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Sandfudflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Retreat if five eagles approach from the west.

4. Always look after injured monkeys.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.