Somtonsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonest fairy.

Somtonsaf created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtonsaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Somtonsaf, he will have a low opinion of you.

Somtonsaf's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Somtonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Worship no other gods but Somtonsaf.

5. Always take life seriously.