Pophamquill is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy hummingbird.

Pophamquill created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pophamquill, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pophamquill, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pophamquill's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pophamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never jump in the presence of otters.