Nakwaptigbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing whale.

Nakwaptigbiss created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakwaptigbiss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nakwaptigbiss, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nakwaptigbiss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nakwaptigbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine otters approach from the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nakwaptigbiss.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.