Flamsasdum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sage monkey.

Flamsasdum created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamsasdum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flamsasdum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flamsasdum's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flamsasdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Never run near aardvarks.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Retreat if four horses approach from the north.