Dutvid is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, contented elephant.

Dutvid created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutvid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dutvid, she will turn you into a sheep.

Dutvid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dutvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Run away from fawn nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always stare at clouds.