Kipgednull Femmatsig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, charitable pig.

Kipgednull Femmatsig created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipgednull Femmatsig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kipgednull Femmatsig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kipgednull Femmatsig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kipgednull Femmatsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Never jump near badgers.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kipgednull Femmatsig.

4. Never laugh in the presence of mites.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.