Vinrenfet Neltarvag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, contented hamster.

Vinrenfet Neltarvag created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinrenfet Neltarvag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vinrenfet Neltarvag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vinrenfet Neltarvag's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vinrenfet Neltarvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Vinrenfet Neltarvag on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about galaxies.