Dimkipsis Zaghonjop is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish cow.

Dimkipsis Zaghonjop created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Dimkipsis Zaghonjop, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dimkipsis Zaghonjop, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dimkipsis Zaghonjop's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dimkipsis Zaghonjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice in need.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never sing near geese.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Dimkipsis Zaghonjop on top of all buildings.