Flanhasloop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable whale.

Flanhasloop created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Flanhasloop, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flanhasloop, she will turn you into a rock.

Flanhasloop's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flanhasloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.