Zenbombarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable bear.

Zenbombarn created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbombarn, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zenbombarn, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Zenbombarn's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Zenbombarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to sheep while wearing yellow coats.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Put Zenbombarn first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Do not commit murder.