Jabquillbon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, stupid zebra.

Jabquillbon created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabquillbon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jabquillbon, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jabquillbon's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jabquillbon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never feed turnips to eagles while wearing brown ear rings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.