Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered badger.

Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bifvagfudpanghivgepwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. You must never eat turnips.