Fonfetsab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome tapir.

Fonfetsab created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonfetsab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fonfetsab, she will think nothing of it.

Fonfetsab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fonfetsab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fonfetsab.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.