Metmutnutmab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic squid.

Metmutnutmab created silver eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metmutnutmab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Metmutnutmab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metmutnutmab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Metmutnutmab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Metmutnutmab.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about gravity.