Gon Guptailbud is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent swan.

Gon Guptailbud created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gon Guptailbud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gon Guptailbud, it will turn you into a mole.

Gon Guptailbud's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Gon Guptailbud's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Worship no other gods but Gon Guptailbud.

5. Do not listen to music.