Sitdinken Hontunbab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, generous guinea pig.

Sitdinken Hontunbab created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sitdinken Hontunbab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sitdinken Hontunbab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Sitdinken Hontunbab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sitdinken Hontunbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs violet.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sitdinken Hontunbab.