Fitnakton is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, grumpy ant.

Fitnakton created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnakton, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fitnakton, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fitnakton's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fitnakton's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Always obey Fitnakton's priests.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.