Nigwitflap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent horse.

Nigwitflap created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Nigwitflap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nigwitflap, it will turn you into a rock.

Nigwitflap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nigwitflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not kill tapirs.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nigwitflap.