Lapjinsin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous goat.

Lapjinsin created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lapjinsin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lapjinsin, she will turn you into a rat.

Lapjinsin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Lapjinsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Do not kill foxes.