Garhimbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witty walrus.

Garhimbaf created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Garhimbaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Garhimbaf, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Garhimbaf's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Garhimbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about gravity.